Things I'm Prone to Do That Friends Should Probably Prevent Me Doing
#1: Starting up conversations with British people based on the fact that I'm also British. I was 10 years old when I moved to the United States. I don't sound British. I know sod all about British politics, pop culture, geography, or history. And I can't possibly hold up half a conversation beyond saying "I was born there." So any such conversation gets forced right around sentence number two, leaving me looking like a big ol' wannabe. Which, of course, is stunningly accurate. I would love to still have my accent. And to be "more British." On some level, it is and always will be home. I will always consider myself English. But in terms of the rest of the world, I'm about as British as Kobe Bryant's sweatband. Any efforts to look otherwise make me, instead, look like a big goon. So if any of you observe that I might be thinking of doing such a thing (evident by the clearly forced stiffening of an upper lip), STOP ME.